I weaned myself off caffeine. Then gradually, I would have a tea here, a tea there, to the point where I’m addicted to the crap again.  It isn’t as bad as it could be; I don’t drink it every day.  Yet I have gotten to the point that on the days I don’t drink it I feel like a rundown engine, like I’m in fourth gear heading up a hill, my parts clanking.

Today I haven’t had any, and while I have had a few uninterrupted hours while Isabel sleeps, I have not had the energy or spark to perform any of my creative tasks at all.  I picked up the cello and played a bit.  Blah.  I sat down here to write.  Nothing to say.  I need to finish my taxes, which really won’t be difficult, but oh, so exhausting.  I just want to lie around and watch a movie.  It’s pathetic.  I did manage a run this morning, and it’s a good thing I did it then, because I wouldn’t do it now.

Caffeine is insidious.  It’s a drug, for sure.  I’m debating just drinking some just to get over the hump. I need to work on my book.  Baby is occupied.  This is as good a time as any.  But if I do, I’m just keeping the cycle going.  When would ever be a good time? I just don’t know.

This post is about as blah as I feel in my caffeine-deprived state.

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