Man, it’s pathetic how little I write on this anymore. It seems like my days start so early and are filled to the brim until late and then I fall into bed completely exhausted, only to start it all again the next day. Work has been a living hell. I have been hating my job so much, trying to focus on what I like about it, trying to help people, but shit just keeps coming up that I have to deal with and it takes time away from the stuff that actually feels useful. Today a client told me she thinks I’m wonderful and that she knows I’m fighting for her, and that part is true, I do want the very best for my clients. But I’m not so sure about the wonderful part and I am barely keeping my head above water. It was nice to hear though. She brought a smile to my face.
My infant daughter brings the most smiles to my face. She is so happy and growing and changing so much. She smiles and makes a little hoo sound all the time about everything. She call me Maa Maa and says bye bye when she waves. She is the most adorable little person. She laughs all the time. She loved Christmas. She opened her presents one by one, handing me pieces of wrapping paper as she went. She and Milla are the reason for the holiday for me. They enjoy themselves so much and it is utterly delightful to watch them enjoy and experience everything.
I can’t believe how tall my Milla is getting. She has passed my friend Rita and is on her way to passing my friend Sara. She’s lanky and tall and completely gorgeous. Luckily she is also still very much 11 and into dogs and knitting and being as comfortable as possible so she goes around dressed like a hippie all the time, which is totally fine with me because I don’t need the boys chasing her yet. I think she will manage to be taller than they are for several years to come so by the time they figure out how amazing she is, she will be older, which can’t hurt. She is a smart girl. She knows how these things roll.
I have to go to bed. It’s 11 and I get to work all day tomorrow. Lucky me. I’m grateful to have a job, but I sure wish it wasn’t such a pain in the ass sometimes.