I weaned myself off caffeine. Then gradually, I would have a tea here, a tea there, to the point where I’m addicted to the crap again. It isn’t as bad as it could be; I don’t drink it every day. Yet I have gotten to the point that on the days I don’t drink it I feel like a rundown engine, like I’m in fourth gear heading up a hill, my parts clanking.
Today I haven’t had any, and while I have had a few uninterrupted hours while Isabel sleeps, I have not had the energy or spark to perform any of my creative tasks at all. I picked up the cello and played a bit. Blah. I sat down here to write. Nothing to say. I need to finish my taxes, which really won’t be difficult, but oh, so exhausting. I just want to lie around and watch a movie. It’s pathetic. I did manage a run this morning, and it’s a good thing I did it then, because I wouldn’t do it now.
Caffeine is insidious. It’s a drug, for sure. I’m debating just drinking some just to get over the hump. I need to work on my book. Baby is occupied. This is as good a time as any. But if I do, I’m just keeping the cycle going. When would ever be a good time? I just don’t know.
This post is about as blah as I feel in my caffeine-deprived state.
Yep. It’s on speed dial. LARA! It calls. Come on down here for a bit. You know you want to. Stop writing and web surfing and come on down. We’ve got a yummy chai tea waiting right here for you. Oh, it’s not that expensive and you know you want it. Imagine that warm feeling running through your veins. Imagine the clarity in your head once the drug bathes those neurons. Imagine all the fantastic things you’ll want to do and accomplish under the influence of the drug. Mmmm, now isn’t that nice? Don’t you want it? You know you do.
I can’t do big caffeine. A diet coke sends me into shivers for hours, I’m that much of a caffeine lightweight. But my brain has most certainly made full use of the small amount I imbibe on a daily basis, spreading it around to all parts. It might be thin, but it covers.
Okay, non-sequitur here, but human bodies have some aspects to them that are just so yucky. I know it’s a marvel of engineering design and all that, but some things like mucous…yuck. And farts. What is that, Mother Nature’s sense of humor? Something sent to remind us we aren’t busy and important? And other things I won’t mention. Gag. I just had to point this out. Yech.
One other pointless rant. Windows. You click on something and nothing happens and it gives you a nice message that says, Such and Such is Not Responding. No fucking kidding? I couldn’t fucking tell when I clicked on it 800 times and nothing happened. The stupid message makes me want to throw the computer more than the fact the damn program froze. Piece of crap. Some Microsoft techie created that message just because s/he knew it would put people into fits. They’re having fun at our expense. I know it.