Oh my gosh! The Vanishing Meter is so damn accurate. I completely forgot about the thing. Then last night, I was lying in bed contemplating my latest disappearing man, remembered my red meter, and poof! A lightbulb lit in my head. Remember the Vanishing Meter! This was a case where the meter was kind of pink at first, and not all the way to the top. But after I met the man and spent time with him, it was as red as the meter could go. After spending time with him, I did not believe the meter would work. But now he has disappeared. That meter is dead on, I swear. I’m going to have to figure out a way to market this thing and make some money. I’ll get a patent even though I didn’t invent it. I discovered it, and that’s all that matters. Kind of like a pharmaceutical company going into India and patenting a medicinal flower the natives have used for centuries. Doesn’t matter if I didn’t invent it if I discovered it, right? Wow. I’m excited. Maybe this is my ticket to the big time. And I won’t even have to share the money with a man because any man I would want to share with will have disappeared. I know. I know. There is that cliche’ about money not buying happiness, but there is also that response that it sure makes the misery bearable. I’ll bear it–on a yacht in the Mediterranean! Thank you, Vanishing Meter. At least I’ve found the silver lining.
Oh, I just thought of something even better–a marketing idea to go with the Vanishing Meter! I could sell the Vanishing Meter™ and with it, I could sell special rags for drool AND for the disappearers to use after they crap their pants at the thought of someone having a red Vanishing Meter™! Wow! I’m onto something even bigger than before! These rags, they could be like those little plastic things that close bread–a simple, little idea that made millions. They will be of a special absorbency and cost very little. What a concept! I could even market on late night television…order the Vanishing Meter™ now, get two absorbency towels for $3.99!
I’m going to go plan my Mediterranean vacation now.