Getting a Great Summer Body

So Yahoo says I can get a summer body in 4 weeks. Wow! A summer body. Just what I always wanted! I’m going to have to get me one of those. I’m not sure if I have to order it from Yahoo or if I can search around for a better deal on the internets. I’m hoping if I shop around, it won’t be terribly expensive, especially with gas prices what they are.  I’m hoping the summer body I find is tall. I like tall bodies. And not terribly muscular, but toned. Yes, toned would be good. Of course, that would mean the body would probably have to be somewhat young so the muscles haven’t atrophied or anything. I don’t particularly care what color skin it has, as long as it’s not scraping off or something like that. I really would like my summer body to actually have skin.  And tan would be good, but not fake orange tan, real tan, if it’s still fresh and not peeling.  I would prefer my summer body has not been mutilated or otherwise defaced. Bodies like that are probably cheaper, but yuck, you know? I wonder what they do to the bodies to keep them from smelling bad. Summer deodorant? And I’ve heard finger and toenails keep growing. I wouldn’t want my summer body to have icky nails. It might be kind of cool if my summer body has hair that has grown longer. I could braid it or maybe even turn it into dreads.

Overall, I’m pretty excited about getting a new summer body. The winter/spring one is starting to decompose and I was considering moving it into the compost pile. This will be a great way to start the season!

Advertisements

Summer Shoe Longing

I went in my closet to find some longjohns to put under my overalls so I can work outside on the house and get it ready to sell.  I bent down to grab them from under a pile of work clothes (you know, the stuff you don’t care if it gets paint or caulk on it) and a pair of summer shoes caught my eye.  They are these gorgeous navy heels with white piping trim.  There are two leather straps that start up near the toes, criss-cross and curve back.  Another strap goes around the ankle and buckles.

Oh I long for warm enough weather to wear those sexy ass shoes.  I love those shoes.  I love having pretty toenails peeking out from the criss-crossing straps.  I love how they make my legs look long and thin.  I love the way the weather has to be to wear those shoes. Makes me long for sun.  Makes me long for wispy skirts and tank tops.  Mmmmmmm….yummy!

I’m sitting here in a heavy sweater, my paint-splattered overalls lumpy with the longjohns underneath, and while it’s difficult to imagine, I am going to San Diego in February and all I can hope is that there will be one day warm enough to wear those shoes.  Maybe I need to schedule a manicure….

I Know What I Need to Do

I don’t know much, but I know I cannot live here much longer.  I have to go somewhere where it is sunny more than it is in this place.  The summers are beautiful, but they are too short-lived.  It rained most of August this year.  And the other ten months…ouch.  The grey and the mold depresses and dampens me.  I turn into another person.  I need the sun.  I need to see light.  I have rarely needed air conditioning.  I have been my best on the hottest days.  Everyone else is complaining and I’m soaking it up.  I get cold in the air-conditioned buildings and go sit in my car with the windows up on those hottest days, warming my bones, heating up my core.

The sun is out today and it is telling me something.  It is saying get out of that cold and damp.  Come be with me somewhere warm most of the time.

I can write anywhere.  I can’t survive here.  I have little doubt that if I do not leave this place I will die sooner rather than later.  I may have a physcial body moving around, but it will be spiritless.