I guess I should just accept the part of myself that no matter how many times it happens, I will only remember that when I’m starting to chomp at the bit and get a little wacky in the head it means I haven’t been writing, even if I’m just writing nonsense like this. It is probably even further evidence I should be writing nonsense like this rather than trying to write anything intelligent. Part of the reason I have not been writing lately is that I can’t seem to think of anything intelligent to say. I can’t even think of anything not intelligent to say. My brain has been a vacuum. Well, that’s not true. But it’s been caught up in wanting to leave Hawaii and not much else. The foolish thing about this is I should just write even if what I have to say is pointless because it helps to leak off some of the pointlessness thereby leaving room to possibly think of something a little less mundane. And so it goes.
So here I am draining off the air, releasing some of the unimportant crap in order to clear my head. We’ll see if it works. The way things have gone in Hawaii over the last couple of days, all I can really think of is my escape and whether I will make it off this island. I actually had the completely irrational thought that Hawaii would not let me go, that I would die here. I told my boyfriend if this happened I want him to fly me to Oregon and bury me there. Just don’t leave my body here. You can see why there isn’t room for intelligent thought.