It seems to have taken a vacation, dammit.
I keep having these thoughts when I am driving or lying in bed that I think I would like to write about. Then when I sit myself down in front of the computer and have sorted through emails, responded to skypes, and talked on the phone, none of them are left. I’m not talking spectacular stuff here, just thoughts I would like to write about for myself. Ah well.
I miss Milla. She is in Boulder with her dad. I will be there soon enough, but I miss her oh so much. It is much more difficult to have her gone when I am in Hawaii where I have not enough to do. Well, that’s not true. I am applying to Columbia University for a master’s in journalism. That is going to take some time. I lined up my references. I need to begin work on the essays that have been floating in my brain since I decided to do this. There are things to do. But my body is rebelling. It is tired and feels rather like viruses would like to invade. It is difficult to concentrate when viruses want to invade.
I cannot wait to move to NYC. Every time Boyfriend and I look at apartments or how to travel across the US, my heart goes pitter patter in excitement. Apartments are not as ridiculously expensive as one would expect and the neighborhoods look just cool. I have not felt for a very long time that a place was right for me, but this place, it feels right. This move, it feels right. The sense of vagueness of purpose is gone, like I have been a laser poking around in the dark and now I have found my target. I’m so excited, I can hardly stand it.
You winner in lottery national!
Ooooh! Excitement! I received an email today that said just these words. Can you believe it? Yeah, me neither. Somehow I think if I won the lottery, several things would be different. First of all, I would have had to have actually played the lottery, which I don’t, so it would be difficult to win. Second, wouldn’t you think they would notify me in some other manner than email? And finally, would the email really say, You winner in lottery national? Call me a fool, but I would think it would at least say You are a winner, not just You winner.
I hope I haven’t lost out by deeming this message junk and deleting it. I really hope I have not done some serious damage or something. Geez. Oh well. I have to hope I’ve done the right thing.
Tonight my computer acted like it had Windows installed. Eeewwwww yuck! Damn thing. It kept freezing when I tried to do a find on Firefox. I had to do forced shutdowns twice and had to just use the button to turn the entire computer off twice. It was all very annoying and Windows deja vueyish. I was finally able to restart properly and things appear to be on track, but that Windows behavior, it gets me all sketchy.