Oh, boy! 10 readers today. I keep waiting for the day I reach 100,000 total reads. I’m close; less than a thousand to go, and all I want to do is shut this thing down. I don’t write anymore, not really, and especially not on this blog. My posts get shorter and shorter. I used to write pages and pages. Now it’s a paragraph here and there every few weeks. I don’t have any real urge to communicate my thoughts to other people. I don’t care what people think of me. I never thought of myself as egoist, but in having lost the desire to write for an audience, I have realized that I was somewhat of an egoist. Maybe not in a blatant self-promoting sort of way, but it was there. I came up with excuses for my need for an audience. Artists paint for an audience. Dancers dance for one. Why shouldn’t I want to write for one? Not sure, but whatever itch I had has been scratched. Maybe it’s the futility of it all, knowing full well that in the scheme of things I’m the spot on the ass of the flea on the back of the hair on the dog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea. But it’s more than that. Something shifted and I really do not desire an audience at all, so really, what is the point of this? There isn’t one. I’ll reach 100,000 views and I won’t even give a shit.
Blogging has changed significantly since I started this. It was more fun back then. People actually communicated with one another via blogs. I met some cool people who commented on my blog and I read and commented on theirs. Now it’s all facebookified, with “likes” and “following,” which is just another marketing tool. I really can’t stand it.
It has passed its prime. Maybe I’ll wait until I pass that mythical 100,000 views, then shut the whole thing down. We shall see.
What was that? Anyone of us can go to Facebook and read rants and raves. This blog is a treat for those of us that follow. We never know what is coming next and one of the few blogs that we as your readers can relate to and follow. That’s like me saying I’m setting down the guitar or drumsticks and will never get on a stage again. I can only speak for myself but is your art any different than mine? Sometimes I just want to put it on the shelf but I don’t because it happens to be one of the few rights and talents i have left that no one can take from me. More importantly, your the only blog left that is real with no crap tied to it. You write what you feel, I play what I feel. Some of us look forward to what you are going to come up with. Keep writing Lara. Now I’ll go grab my guitar. In the meantime, I will look forward to what your going to come up with next.