Simply Not Motivated

Ooooh! September 7 I got 25 reads! How exciting! Harumph. I used to get 100s a day, back when I wrote a lot and tried to be funny. I don’t even care if I’m funny anymore. Is this apathy a signature of aging or is it just me? I realized while driving to work this morning that a lot of life seems so much effort. I used to be on top of it. Bill needed paying? I paid it. Dish needed washing? I washed it. Shelves needed dusting? I dusted them. Something broke? I fixed it. Never a wait. Never a pause. Just get it done. That was my motto too, get it done and then you won’t have it staring you in the face for weeks on end. Now? It stares me in the face. Oh yeah, I need to sew the hole in that pair of trousers. And then I don’t do it. I might even wear the trousers with the hole, that’s how little I care these days. It isn’t like I’m using the time for something more valuable either. I’m not. I did paint my kitchen, but the paint tape is still there, a week and a half later. I’ve been removing it gradually. Oh let’s see, I think I can reach this piece. Oh, I have to climb on a chair to get in this cupboard and get something, I’ll pull off a couple of more pieces. But I still haven’t fixed the places where the old paint is on the white woodwork because the previous painters sucked. I’ll do it, eventually. I’m AMAZED I remodeled an entire house by myself. Where did I ever find the motivation? I thoroughly lack motivation. What is this? I’m not depressed; not at all. I really just don’t give much of a shit anymore. And that’s probably not so good. I’m kind of in a zen mood, letting some things be as they are. Maybe someday my Type A-ness will return. Type Anus. Oh dang. That made me laugh. Silly, silly stupidity. The things that make me chuckle.

I think I’ll go have some hot chocolate and mull it over. I’m not motivated enough to write anymore.

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4 thoughts on “Simply Not Motivated

  1. Nice read! I know exactly what you mine. Six months ago I was doing so much more with my day than now, I think I fully understand procrastination now. I like your writing, it made me laugh 🙂 best wishes

  2. Maybe a relaxing vacation is all that’s needed. Sometimes stepping away from home and out of our normal routines are enough to make up miss our daily grind and refresh our minds. 🙂 Good luck

  3. Eh, half my shirts have holes. But since most of the holes are in the underarm parts of the shirts, I just don’t raise my arms up and nobody can see the holes! It’s so hard to find clothes that fit I just wear them until they’re completely unacceptable. My apathy knows very few bounds. Blargh.

    • I gave in and finished pulling down the paint tape AND touched up the edges. I had no excuses and love the way it looks. Now if I can just remember this feeling the next time I’m avoiding a project!

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