Have you ever found yourself heading in a direction that you don’t want to go, into a thicket so dangerous and dense–danger ahead!–but to one side there are brambles, to another side is a bear, off to an angle is a sheer cliff, so you scramble and try to move back, but end up pushed forward, thorns stabbing you in the side, the bear’s teeth at your heels, stuck, unable to go anywhere except deeper into the dense thicket you do not want to enter? This is how things are right now. I’m cut and bleeding, but have no idea how to get to some stable ground.
Random Thoughts on Everything and Nothing 
I could give you all this babble about stuff that really doesn’t because we are talking about your heart and soul. I’m sure it is a very special place that you gave to another human being. That was a special thing for you to do. Now it has a big tear in it. Think about what you want to do to heal that tear. The rest of the world probably will not understand. Frankly, those people can flap their lips all they want because its not their heart. You take of yourself. My e-mail is on my blog. Never hesitate to write.