I saw this funny blog headline. It said, How to observe Presidents’ Day. Don’t work. Other than that, I don’t know. That is hilarious. But I know one way. Dress up like your favorite president! If you have one of those jobs where they didn’t give you the day off, like so many, you’ll really impress them with your verve and spirit!
Last night I went to listen to music at this place and I swear, a man channeling John Wilkes Booth was there! He looked EXACTLY like him! He even had a similar haircut. My girlfriend pointed out that he also slightly resembled Sean Penn and you know what? He did! So I went out on the web and googled images of John Wilkes Booth and Sean Penn to compare. Man, I wish I was blog literate enough to post the photos here because they have to be related. They look exactly alike! At least they have very similar long pointy noses. I think actually that JWB was more handsome than Sean Penn is. Just a bit. Except for the fact JWB murdered a president, they also have in common that they are both actors. Perhaps they are related. Wouldn’t that be weird?
Another way to celebrate Presidents’ Day would be to memorize famous presidential speeches. Then if someone says something to you, answer with the speech. That could be cool. If everyone went around one day spouting presidential speeches, perhaps we would all learn to be a bit more oratory. We could also renact days off from the times of Washington and Lincoln whereby everyone goes on picnics and races in potato sack races or pie bake offs. Could be fun! Another possibility is to celebrate the byproducts of the Presidents’ Day holiday. For instance, we could celebrate not having to check the mail or go to the bank.
Since stores have already appropriated every major holiday for mass consumerism and commercial gain, and since Presidents’ Day primarily serves as an excuse for stores to claim a sale and some jobs to give folks the day off, I propose the stores get more into the act and start selling outfits and decorations for Presidents’ Day. We could all go buy lights shaped like Lincoln standing tall, his hand on his lapel, his top hat high on his head. Or little Washingtons holding cherry tree axes (truth of the fable be damned). They could sell Washington and horse figurines to pretend to cross the Potomac. They could make giant blow up dolls for the front yard wearing festive red, white, and blue clothing. It could take American yard decor to a new level of tackiness.
I have a friend who is a buyer of holiday goods for a major store in the area. I ought to talk to her about getting her store in on the act. This could be the next big holiday thing, with decor coming out at the same time as Valentine’s goods, a week and a half before Christmas. Could be fun! Or the lucky few could just keep getting the day off.