I leave for Hawaii on Thursday. I feel like I’m going forward, getting it done, but observing from the outside.  It’s like I can’t let myself feel anything about it before I go because I don’t know how I feel about it other than that I know I have to do it.  In some regards I feel like immigrants in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s must have felt.  I’m leaving pretty much everything behind except a few small belongings and Milla.  Even my animal babies won’t be with me.  Thank God it’s the 21st century and there are phones, the internet, email, Skype or Gizmo, whatever, to keep us connected with our families and friends in a way the immigrants could not enjoy.  In that regard, we have it so much easier.  But that’s about the only situation I can find analagous to this one.  Similiarly though, I do think it is something that will improve our lives.  So off we go…

Have you ever spent a good deal of time helping someone with something just because you wanted to help them (for whatever reason), then made an offer to help further and the person acted like the further assistance was expected or even required?  Such things make me less inclined to want to help out, you know?  Such things make me want to say fuck you and give the proverbial finger.  Instead of thanks a bunch for helping out, it’s how come you’re not doing more or doing it faster?  Nothing like a little ingratitude to keep me from offering up assistance in the future.

Today is colder than it has been.  It is the first of August.  Incidentally, this is also my mom’s birthday.  She seemed pleased when I called and wished her well.  I gave her a gift some weeks ago because I was moving and did not want to lose it.  She told me all about where the gift was at and how much she liked it.  She was appreciative.  My daughter is visiting my mom this weekend.  I picked her up at the airport and very nearly took her straight over to my sister’s where my mom was going to pick her up.  I figured I would let Milla keep traveling and stay in that mode before coming to me and moving to another state.  There will be a lot of changes for both of us coming up.  I’m looking forward to parts of it, but honestly, I’m scared shitless.  I guess that’s how it goes.