In honor of America naming its top 7 wonders, I have decided to offer a top 7 wonders list of my own. These are things so quintisentially American, it would be shameful not to offer them their own place in infamy. Drum roll please…
Walmart: A wonder in sheer, unabashed corporate greed.
George Bush: It’s a wonder that someone this complicatedly messed up is the president of the US.
Strip Malls: A wonder at the absolute lack of any sense of aestheticism.
Sound bites: A wonder that it is possible to boil any complicated issue down to a few seconds and make it appear black and white.
Mcmansions: A wonder of greed, lack of necessity, and waste.
Fast food: A wonder for its ability to combine obesity, magnificent deterioration of health, and sheer ugliness, all under one roof.
Insurance: A wonder because it manages to convince people it is protecting them while simultaneously ripping them off.
So there you go, my top 7 wonders of America. Ain’t it grand?