My Sad, Broken Heart

Today would have been the fifth birthday of my dear little dog, Ava. I miss her so much sometimes, I just ache. We risk so much pain when we love, that’s the crux of it. I loved that little creature so much. She meant the world to me. I still cannot believe she isn’t here and won’t be. I have horrifying thoughts at times, thinking about pieces of her at the bottom of the lake. There must be nothing left but bones. Maybe her microchip. I’m grateful in a funny way that we had removed her collar for swimming so I have it.

She gave me so much. She doesn’t even know what she was to me. Her timing coming into my life could not be more fortuitous. I cannot see anything fortuitous in her loss. If I could have one wish it would be to go back to the moment before she jumped and pick her up.

My heart is still broken.

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3 thoughts on “My Sad, Broken Heart

  1. I’m really sorry, Lara. I know how painful losing a pet can be. If you ever need to borrow a dog for the weekend, I know mine would love the company of women! I have a girlfriend in Eugene, who isn’t quite up to the energy level of dealing with a Jack Russell/Rat Terrier mix so he would undoubtedly look forward to a break from those visits.

    This may or may not be funny to you – but WordPress is juxtaposing ads in a somewhat odd way in your blog posts – https://www.dropbox.com/s/27rhupbsyay76og/lgpost.PNG . At least, I presume you aren’t an Olive Garden fan….

  2. Pingback: Ava: December 3, 2008 — August 23, 2013 – Random Thoughts on Everything & Nothing

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