Four years ago I wrote a post on this blog on Valentine’s Day, and I was happy, at least happyish (if you’re interested, view it here). I was sitting at the desk in my own house, the one I remodeled by myself into a cozy home for myself, my darling girl, and my animals. Three [...]
Posts Tagged ‘Love’
Four Years
Posted in life, Love, Personal, tagged Family, life, Love, Personal, Relationships, Transformation, Valentine's Day on February 15, 2012 | Leave a Comment »
Nail Clippers
Posted in Animals, grief, life, Love, Personal, tagged Animals, death, dogs, grief, life, loss, Love, Personal on January 22, 2012 | Leave a Comment »
I just found some of Autumn’s nail clippers and felt a pang at the thought that these clippers could survive, but my dog didn’t. It seems unfair somehow, that this meaningless hunk of plastic and metal gets to be here and she does not. It’s such a strange feeling. I wonder if some of humanity’s [...]
Virtually Useless Post
Posted in Animals, Babies, life, Personal, tagged Animals, babies, dogs, life, Love, Personal, Random Thoughts on January 7, 2012 | Leave a Comment »
This is one of those extra special posts where I say virtually nothing and put it in a blog post. Come to think of it, isn’t that what all of my blog is, actually? I’m gradually discovering that I have nothing of any value to impart via the written word. Nonsense, nonsense, all of it. [...]
Isabelli Bear
Posted in Personal, tagged life, Love, Personal on December 25, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
Today when opening gifts, with every gift that Isabel opened, she removed the bow and placed it either on her head, my head, or Milla’s head. It was darling. I love my girls.
Oh, how lovely
Posted in Animals, Babies, Children, Family, Personal, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on December 24, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
I have such sweet and lovely children. Having a forum to gush over my babies is one of many reasons I enjoy having a blog. These are Christmas photos I took of the family tonight.
Isn’t she just perfection?
Posted in Personal, tagged babies, Love, Photographs on October 10, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
Anticlimactic
Posted in Babies, Children, life, Love, Personal, Writing, tagged babies, Children, life, Love, Personal, Writing on July 18, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
The interesting thing for me in finally finishing one of my books is how anticlimactic it has been. I finished it, then sat here and thought, Okay, it’s done. I will have to read through it and edit, but the bulk of it is complete. It seemed as if the occasion deserved something more, but [...]
Blue Valentine
Posted in life, Love, Personal, Relationships, tagged Blue Valentine, life, Love, men, movies, Personal, Relationships, Women on April 30, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
I started watching Blue Valentine at the theater, but Isabel would not stay asleep and so I had to leave, but I wasn’t disappointed to be walking out. The thing was depressing and I could not get into it. I wanted to see what happened though, so a few weeks later I began watching again [...]
Wedding Candles by Marc Chagall
Posted in Cello, Love, Personal, tagged Art, Beauty, Cello, Chagall, Love, Music, Wedding Candles on April 9, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
This is such a perfect, whimsical celebration! The couple moves through the town, candles flickering, the cellist and drummer play, angel goat watches, drinking red wine, birds dance while couples embrace. What more could you ask for on your wedding day?
Isabel
Posted in Babies, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Chiidren, Daughters, Family, life, Love, Personal on March 26, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
Isabel, have patience! Have patience, Mama? I’m only 1 and a half years old. How am I supposed to have patience? And then I realized, today Isabel is exactly 1 and a half. Happy 1 and a half birthday, Isabel. Today Isabel also quacked at me. She picked up her new orange and white duck [...]
Love
Posted in Babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, parenting, Personal on March 22, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
My little daughter is perfect. I have moments sometimes, when I’m holding her hand or looking at her, when I think to myself that I am a human and she is a human, she is my cub, my baby. I held her hand tonight as she lay against me in the crook of my right [...]
Baby Love
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on June 16, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
It doesn’t matter where I’m at or what I’m doing, rubbing my baby’s back is like mainlining bliss. There must be some kind of direct Oxytocin hit for moms there or something. Same with rubbing her head. I could sit and rub her head and her back and get that blissed out feeling all day [...]
I Just Can’t Stand It
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, Politics, Ranting, Society, tagged Earth, Family, life, Love, Personal, Politics, Ranting, Society, USA on January 19, 2010 | 2 Comments »
I’m so frustrated with this country. I wish I had never heard the results of the Massachusetts election. I can’t stand the stupid, short-sightedness in this country. If anyone thinks Republicans are going to do anything to fix anything, they are fucking crazy. This country would not be in this mess if it weren’t for [...]
Day 16
Posted in Children, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on October 11, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Fifteenth day of life. Not much exciting to report. Today we went over to Gramma’s house for dinner because Daddy’s birthday was the day after Isabel’s. We had turkey dinner and Gramma, Aunt Sarah, and Cousin Caroline held Isabel. After dinner, Isabel and I took a nap that felt amazing. I’m so tired all the [...]
Two Weeks Old: Pumpkins
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, Portland Jazz Orchestra, Pumpkin patches on October 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Today Isabel is two weeks old. She had an adventurous day, of sorts. Considering she slept through most of it, I’m not sure how much of an adventure it really was. First we went to Sauvie Island to the pumpkin patch. We were going to go to the main big one with the giant corn [...]
Day 13
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on October 8, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Twelfth day of life. I love my baby. She is lying her on my arms as I type, completely sacked out. She is so cute. She just drank a bunch of milk and crashed. She loves her milk. Today she had her second checkup with the midwives. They weighed her (8 pounds, 15 ounces) and [...]
Day 11
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Breastfeeding, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on October 7, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Tenth day of life. Oh, tired. Tired to the bone. I sleep. I actually sleep many hours. I just don’t sleep that many in a row, so I’m tired. Isabel and I took three naps together today. I was falling over in my soup I was so tired. I had to just get up and [...]
One Week Old: The Land of Cuteness
Posted in Animals, Children, life, Love, Personal, tagged Animals, babies, Children, Family, Happiness, life, Love, Personal on October 4, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Lara Gardner’s Weblog, so long full of angst and loneliness, heartache and concern, now a lovefest to her new baby. I’m giddy in love with this little person. She is lying here nursing right now and making these little hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm noises between gulps. Her little right hand is resting on her cheek, [...]
Day 7
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Children, Family, Frenulum, life, Love, Personal, Tongue-tied on October 2, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Sixth day of life. Tomorrow it will have been a week since Isabel was born. Wow. What an amazing week. The first days with a baby are so visceral, so present. I love it. I spend time simply looking at her, memorizing her face, her hands, her feet, her body. Baby love is wonderful. Pure [...]
Day 6
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on October 2, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Fifth day of life. Today was fairly uneventful. Miss Isabel decided to be awake again last night, which was actually pretty wonderful. She woke and ate around 1:30, then woke again around 3:30 and was up for about an hour and a half. We went into Milla’s room to hang out because Milla has some [...]
Day 5
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on October 1, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Fourth complete day, starting the fifth. Today Isabelle pooped. The funny thing about babies is that it is easy to be happy about things like poop. She has not pooped since the first day of her life when she pooped a bunch of meconium. This isn’t much of a surprise since my milk really didn’t [...]
Day 4
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on September 29, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Third complete day, beginning the fourth. Little Isabel Lorraine, love of my life. So far she likes being awake at night. She finishes drinking her milky then wants to look around at us and everything. Last night she had a long awake period, beginning at about 3:30 a.m. Lucky for mommy, during the day she [...]
Day 1: Isabel Lorraine is Born!
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Childbirth, Children, Home birth, life, Love, Personal on September 26, 2009 | 1 Comment »
I awoke this morning at 6:59 a.m. to a pain that hurt like a terrible menstrual cramp and ran down the insides of my legs. Considering how many false alarms I’ve had with painful contractions, I considered that this too might not be real. However, the pain was real enough I could not go back [...]
I am in Love
Posted in Animals, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged Animals, dogs, Family, Happiness, life, Love, Personal on July 25, 2009 | 2 Comments »
There are some just dog things, such as the way they trot in front of you with their ears back, going the way you go, that I just adore in this puppy of mine. I love how wherever I go in the house she follows me. My dog Autumn did that. It was one of [...]
Pregnancy Insomnia
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, childhood, Children, Family, life, Love, parenting, Personal, Pregnancy on July 11, 2009 | 2 Comments »
It does not matter when I go to bed, I wake up at 6:43 a.m. every day, usually to pee, then cannot go back to sleep. By the time my body might consider going back to sleep, it has to pee again. Pregnancy is so fun. There is also often the problem of a numb [...]
Poop Breath Monster
Posted in Animals, Family, Funny, Humor, life, Love, Personal, tagged Animals, Coprophagia, dogs, Family, Funny, Humor, life, Love, Personal, Puppies on July 6, 2009 | 4 Comments »
Gads, I love my puppy. I know this is a silly thing to write about, but she is just such a dear, sweet, delightful little dog, and I adore her so much that I had to say so. She is so cute. She is small and white, with a happy grin. Her little butt looks [...]
Betrayal
Posted in life, Love, Personal, Relationships, Uncategorized, tagged Betrayal, life, Love, men, Personal, Relationships, Women on July 3, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Betrayal is the breaking or violation of a presumptive social contract, TRUST, or CONFIDENCE that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship. The most immediate effect of the betrayal of trust is in the emotional impact on the person betrayed. Generally speaking, the greater the trust that you had put in the other person [...]
Holiday Season
Posted in life, Love, Personal, Travel, tagged Children, christmas, Family, holidays, life, Love, moving, Personal, Portland, Snow, Travel, weather on December 22, 2008 | 1 Comment »
I’m learning how to be. I’m seem always to be failing at it. Maybe I need to change my standards. I don’t know. Last night was infiinitely better than yesterday. I finally opened my mouth to the man I love and once we started speaking, things were better. I find it odd to have roles [...]
Thank you, Boyfriend
Posted in Personal, tagged life, Love, Personal, Relationships on December 13, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
You know who you are. This quickpress is for you. You are easily one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Although it may have taken a lot of heartache and time to get here, I am so grateful we found each other. Thank you for being brave and coming over to [...]
New York
Posted in Children, Family, life, Music, Personal, Society, Travel, tagged Apartments, Children, Customer Service, Family, Hospitality, Hostels, Jazz, life, Love, New York, Personal, Sugar Hill, Travel, Waldorf School on December 11, 2008 | 6 Comments »
I am sitting in a Starbucks in New York. I just had a tour at the Waldorf school here because Milla has always attended Waldorf schools and I would prefer she continue to always attend Waldorf schools. I only hope we get financial aid because the school here is about twice the tuition as the [...]
Ronrey
Posted in Family, life, Loneliness, Love, Personal, tagged Family, Friends, life, Loneliness, Love, Personal on November 28, 2008 | 1 Comment »
I’m not good at making new friends unless there is a context in which to meet someone. I do fine meeting people when there is a reason for us to meet one another. When there is no such framework, however, I suck. I am more introverted than extroverted given the choice. Consequently, when I’m not [...]
Isn’t She Lovely?
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on November 17, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I have the most beautiful child in the world, and she is a genuinely sweet person. I love her so very much.
I’m a Giant Dork
Posted in Funny, Gardening, life, Loneliness, Love, Personal, Pointless Rambling, Politics, Random Thoughts, Relationships, Society, Writing, tagged Children, Family, Funny, Humor, Love, men, Personal, Politics, Relationships, Society, Women, Writing on October 25, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Or so I have been informed by my boyfriend. I can’t really disagree. He’s right. I am a dork. We were chatting about a friend working in the garden. I said He’s probably hoeing, digging up potatoes. Boyfriend said He’s off being a pimp? I said Huh? Then got it and laughed and laughed. In [...]
Silly Me
Posted in life, Love, Personal, tagged life, Love, Personal on October 23, 2008 | 2 Comments »
I’m all in silly love. I love my boyfriend so much, I wanted to say so. This is my metaphorical shouting from the rooftops. He is magnificent. I know this is silly, but it feels good so here it is. Nine months ago he was brave enough to start talking to me. For this I [...]
Smitten
Posted in life, Love, Personal, Writing, tagged language, life, Love, men, Personal, Relationships, Women, Words, Writing on September 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I’m completely smitten. Okay, here’s an aside. How is it that a person who reads as many books as I do, who loves words and word origins, who loves language actually, can have gone through life and not known that smitten is a past participle of smite? How is this? I am completely pitiful. I [...]
Missing is So Unkind
Posted in life, Love, Personal, Random Thoughts, Relationships, tagged Biology, Humanity, life, Love, men, Personal, Relationships, Women on September 20, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
What possible biological basis can there have been for us to evolve a mechanism that allows us to feel like a limb has been removed when we miss another human being? Is it truly only the mating sequence? Why couldn’t our biology be content to know another mate will someday take the place of the [...]
Miss Molly
Posted in Animals, Family, Friends, grief, life, Love, Personal, tagged Animals, death, dogs, Family, Friends, grief, life, Love, Nature, Personal, pets on September 17, 2008 | 6 Comments »
In December 1996, I decided that I wanted another dog. I had lived with my sweet dog, Autumn, for four and a half years. We had moved back to Oregon from the east coast, and I had finished college and begun working full time. I decided Autumn needed someone to hang out with during the [...]
Today is Autumn’s Birthday
Posted in Animals, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged Animals, Children, dogs, Elvis, Family, Friends, life, Love, Personal, Women on August 16, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Doesn’t that sound like the first line of a poem? Speaking metaphorically of course. I am not, however, speaking metaphorically. August 16 is the day my Autumn was born, in 1993. She died July 19, 2005. I chose her the day she was born and she died in my arms. She lived her life with [...]
Spinning Time
Posted in Humor, life, Love, Personal, Random Thoughts, Relationships, Writing, tagged life, Love, Passing Time, Personal, Plans, Random Thoughts, thinking, time on August 16, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
My blog has turned into two things. One is me going on and on about how pathetic I am. The other is my ranting about the godforsaken political situation in this country. It’s as if my sense of humor has taken a monster shit and been flushed down the loo. It does not exist anymore, [...]
Blah Blah Blah
Posted in life, Love, Personal, Random Thoughts, tagged Insomnia, life, Love, Personal on August 12, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
So I don’t write a couple of days and they change everything again. Well, at least they moved things around somewhat. It’s not as drastic a change as before. I know a lot of people did not like the other changes, but I did, so I think I can get used to a little column [...]
mary jane white and red
Posted in Dharma, life, Personal, tagged Dharma, Jazz, life, Love, moving, Music, Personal on July 26, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Mary jane red and white, smoke a grape through a pipe. Mary jane white and red, eat a chocolate chip instead. These days have been filled with beautiful moments. I keep forcing myself to live in the moment because I do not want to lose them. I will miss these moments when they are gone; [...]
You Know It
Posted in life, Love, Personal, Relationships, tagged Anger, contractors, Emotion, fury, home inspections, Home sales, house sales, life, Love, Personal, Relationships on June 12, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. — William Congreve I have told more than one person that I work at resolving situations before I get truly angry, because once I get there, once I get truly angry as opposed to being simply irritated, bothered, or annoyed, then I lose any semblance of giving [...]
Please Advise this Would-Be Diplomat
Posted in Animals, Funny, Humor, life, Love, Personal, Politics, Relationships, tagged Animals, Congress, dogs, Iraq, life, Love, peace, Personal, Relationships, war on April 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
So I think maybe I get why Congress can’t pull its head out of its ass about the Iraq war and do something different that moves us towards stabilization in the region and ultimately allows our soldiers to come home. The reason I’m able to understand this is that I’m kind of like Congress right [...]
Physical Therapy
Posted in Health, Humor, Love, Personal, Pointless Rambling, Politics, Random Thoughts, Relationships, tagged Health, Humor, Insomnia, life, Love, men, monsanto, Personal, Politics, Relationships, Women on April 14, 2008 | 1 Comment »
The Elbow, Lying on the Couch: When I was young, I fell and was broken. It was a hard fall. Out of a tree. The ligaments surrounding my cartilage were torn. I hurt for months. I was swollen. I couldn’t breathe properly. Physical Therapist: How do you feel about that? Elbow: It hurts, you know? [...]
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