Four years ago I wrote a post on this blog on Valentine’s Day, and I was happy, at least happyish (if you’re interested, view it here). I was sitting at the desk in my own house, the one I remodeled by myself into a cozy home for myself, my darling girl, and my animals. Three [...]
Archive for the ‘Love’ Category
Four Years
Posted in life, Love, Personal, tagged Family, life, Love, Personal, Relationships, Transformation, Valentine's Day on February 15, 2012 | Leave a Comment »
Nail Clippers
Posted in Animals, grief, life, Love, Personal, tagged Animals, death, dogs, grief, life, loss, Love, Personal on January 22, 2012 | Leave a Comment »
I just found some of Autumn’s nail clippers and felt a pang at the thought that these clippers could survive, but my dog didn’t. It seems unfair somehow, that this meaningless hunk of plastic and metal gets to be here and she does not. It’s such a strange feeling. I wonder if some of humanity’s [...]
Anticlimactic
Posted in Babies, Children, life, Love, Personal, Writing, tagged babies, Children, life, Love, Personal, Writing on July 18, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
The interesting thing for me in finally finishing one of my books is how anticlimactic it has been. I finished it, then sat here and thought, Okay, it’s done. I will have to read through it and edit, but the bulk of it is complete. It seemed as if the occasion deserved something more, but [...]
Blue Valentine
Posted in life, Love, Personal, Relationships, tagged Blue Valentine, life, Love, men, movies, Personal, Relationships, Women on April 30, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
I started watching Blue Valentine at the theater, but Isabel would not stay asleep and so I had to leave, but I wasn’t disappointed to be walking out. The thing was depressing and I could not get into it. I wanted to see what happened though, so a few weeks later I began watching again [...]
Wedding Candles by Marc Chagall
Posted in Cello, Love, Personal, tagged Art, Beauty, Cello, Chagall, Love, Music, Wedding Candles on April 9, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
This is such a perfect, whimsical celebration! The couple moves through the town, candles flickering, the cellist and drummer play, angel goat watches, drinking red wine, birds dance while couples embrace. What more could you ask for on your wedding day?
Isabel
Posted in Babies, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Chiidren, Daughters, Family, life, Love, Personal on March 26, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
Isabel, have patience! Have patience, Mama? I’m only 1 and a half years old. How am I supposed to have patience? And then I realized, today Isabel is exactly 1 and a half. Happy 1 and a half birthday, Isabel. Today Isabel also quacked at me. She picked up her new orange and white duck [...]
Love
Posted in Babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, parenting, Personal on March 22, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
My little daughter is perfect. I have moments sometimes, when I’m holding her hand or looking at her, when I think to myself that I am a human and she is a human, she is my cub, my baby. I held her hand tonight as she lay against me in the crook of my right [...]
My baby is kissing the mirror
Posted in Babies, Family, life, Love, Personal, Pointless Rambling, tagged Family, life, Personal, Pointless Rambling, Writing on March 6, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
Isabel is strumming the heater vent like she strums her ukulele, Milla’s violin, and my cello. I have said it before, but it is true. I used to be prolific. Go back to 2007, 2008. You’ll see. Every day, all the time. Now the most writing I do is an occasional status update on facebook. [...]
Pointless Rambling
Posted in Babies, life, Love, Personal, Writing, tagged babies, Estate sales, life, Personal, Pointless Rambling on September 12, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
Ahh, Lara never writes here anymore. I’m tempted to stop using this blog and use the other one I started some time ago. I like that one because the one person in particular who stalks me here doesn’t know where that one is at so I can say what I want without worrying I’ll get [...]
Baby Love
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on June 16, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
It doesn’t matter where I’m at or what I’m doing, rubbing my baby’s back is like mainlining bliss. There must be some kind of direct Oxytocin hit for moms there or something. Same with rubbing her head. I could sit and rub her head and her back and get that blissed out feeling all day [...]
I Just Can’t Stand It
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, Politics, Ranting, Society, tagged Earth, Family, life, Love, Personal, Politics, Ranting, Society, USA on January 19, 2010 | 2 Comments »
I’m so frustrated with this country. I wish I had never heard the results of the Massachusetts election. I can’t stand the stupid, short-sightedness in this country. If anyone thinks Republicans are going to do anything to fix anything, they are fucking crazy. This country would not be in this mess if it weren’t for [...]
Day 16
Posted in Children, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on October 11, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Fifteenth day of life. Not much exciting to report. Today we went over to Gramma’s house for dinner because Daddy’s birthday was the day after Isabel’s. We had turkey dinner and Gramma, Aunt Sarah, and Cousin Caroline held Isabel. After dinner, Isabel and I took a nap that felt amazing. I’m so tired all the [...]
Two Weeks Old: Pumpkins
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, Portland Jazz Orchestra, Pumpkin patches on October 10, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Today Isabel is two weeks old. She had an adventurous day, of sorts. Considering she slept through most of it, I’m not sure how much of an adventure it really was. First we went to Sauvie Island to the pumpkin patch. We were going to go to the main big one with the giant corn [...]
Day 13
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on October 8, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Twelfth day of life. I love my baby. She is lying her on my arms as I type, completely sacked out. She is so cute. She just drank a bunch of milk and crashed. She loves her milk. Today she had her second checkup with the midwives. They weighed her (8 pounds, 15 ounces) and [...]
Day 11
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Breastfeeding, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on October 7, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Tenth day of life. Oh, tired. Tired to the bone. I sleep. I actually sleep many hours. I just don’t sleep that many in a row, so I’m tired. Isabel and I took three naps together today. I was falling over in my soup I was so tired. I had to just get up and [...]
One Week Old: The Land of Cuteness
Posted in Animals, Children, life, Love, Personal, tagged Animals, babies, Children, Family, Happiness, life, Love, Personal on October 4, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Lara Gardner’s Weblog, so long full of angst and loneliness, heartache and concern, now a lovefest to her new baby. I’m giddy in love with this little person. She is lying here nursing right now and making these little hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm noises between gulps. Her little right hand is resting on her cheek, [...]
Day 7
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Children, Family, Frenulum, life, Love, Personal, Tongue-tied on October 2, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Sixth day of life. Tomorrow it will have been a week since Isabel was born. Wow. What an amazing week. The first days with a baby are so visceral, so present. I love it. I spend time simply looking at her, memorizing her face, her hands, her feet, her body. Baby love is wonderful. Pure [...]
Day 6
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on October 2, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Fifth day of life. Today was fairly uneventful. Miss Isabel decided to be awake again last night, which was actually pretty wonderful. She woke and ate around 1:30, then woke again around 3:30 and was up for about an hour and a half. We went into Milla’s room to hang out because Milla has some [...]
Day 5
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on October 1, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Fourth complete day, starting the fifth. Today Isabelle pooped. The funny thing about babies is that it is easy to be happy about things like poop. She has not pooped since the first day of her life when she pooped a bunch of meconium. This isn’t much of a surprise since my milk really didn’t [...]
Day 4
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, tagged babies, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on September 29, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Third complete day, beginning the fourth. Little Isabel Lorraine, love of my life. So far she likes being awake at night. She finishes drinking her milky then wants to look around at us and everything. Last night she had a long awake period, beginning at about 3:30 a.m. Lucky for mommy, during the day she [...]
Day 1: Isabel Lorraine is Born!
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, Childbirth, Children, Home birth, life, Love, Personal on September 26, 2009 | 1 Comment »
I awoke this morning at 6:59 a.m. to a pain that hurt like a terrible menstrual cramp and ran down the insides of my legs. Considering how many false alarms I’ve had with painful contractions, I considered that this too might not be real. However, the pain was real enough I could not go back [...]
I am in Love
Posted in Animals, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged Animals, dogs, Family, Happiness, life, Love, Personal on July 25, 2009 | 2 Comments »
There are some just dog things, such as the way they trot in front of you with their ears back, going the way you go, that I just adore in this puppy of mine. I love how wherever I go in the house she follows me. My dog Autumn did that. It was one of [...]
Pregnancy Insomnia
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged babies, childhood, Children, Family, life, Love, parenting, Personal, Pregnancy on July 11, 2009 | 2 Comments »
It does not matter when I go to bed, I wake up at 6:43 a.m. every day, usually to pee, then cannot go back to sleep. By the time my body might consider going back to sleep, it has to pee again. Pregnancy is so fun. There is also often the problem of a numb [...]
Poop Breath Monster
Posted in Animals, Family, Funny, Humor, life, Love, Personal, tagged Animals, Coprophagia, dogs, Family, Funny, Humor, life, Love, Personal, Puppies on July 6, 2009 | 4 Comments »
Gads, I love my puppy. I know this is a silly thing to write about, but she is just such a dear, sweet, delightful little dog, and I adore her so much that I had to say so. She is so cute. She is small and white, with a happy grin. Her little butt looks [...]
Betrayal
Posted in life, Love, Personal, Relationships, Uncategorized, tagged Betrayal, life, Love, men, Personal, Relationships, Women on July 3, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
Betrayal is the breaking or violation of a presumptive social contract, TRUST, or CONFIDENCE that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship. The most immediate effect of the betrayal of trust is in the emotional impact on the person betrayed. Generally speaking, the greater the trust that you had put in the other person [...]
Letters to Annoying People
Posted in Animals, Environmental, life, Love, Personal, Ranting, tagged Air Conditioning, Animals, Cities, Dog shit, dogs, Environment, Environmental, Facebook, Hair, Hairdresserers, life, New York City, Personal, Ranting, Sidewalks, Society on May 21, 2009 | 2 Comments »
Dear Hairdresser, Here is a clue: Just because you think my hair might look “cool” with that fancy cut you propose does not mean that I want you to cut it that way. You are not me. You do not live with me and you are not someone I spend a lot of time with. [...]
Holiday Season
Posted in life, Love, Personal, Travel, tagged Children, christmas, Family, holidays, life, Love, moving, Personal, Portland, Snow, Travel, weather on December 22, 2008 | 1 Comment »
I’m learning how to be. I’m seem always to be failing at it. Maybe I need to change my standards. I don’t know. Last night was infiinitely better than yesterday. I finally opened my mouth to the man I love and once we started speaking, things were better. I find it odd to have roles [...]
I Should Have Been Born a Thoroughbred
Posted in Animals, life, Love, Personal, Writing, tagged Animals, Conflict, horses, life, Personal, Relationships, Stress on November 29, 2008 | 2 Comments »
I am one of those nervous nelly types who reacts physically to mental upsets. I get a sore throat and diarrhea if my boyfriend and I have an argument. Once I even threw up. The consequence is that I have many activities to help with mental harmony. I have a special grounding meditation. I like [...]
Ronrey
Posted in Family, life, Loneliness, Love, Personal, tagged Family, Friends, life, Loneliness, Love, Personal on November 28, 2008 | 1 Comment »
I’m not good at making new friends unless there is a context in which to meet someone. I do fine meeting people when there is a reason for us to meet one another. When there is no such framework, however, I suck. I am more introverted than extroverted given the choice. Consequently, when I’m not [...]
What I am Thankful For
Posted in Family, Humor, life, Love, Personal, tagged holidays, life, Personal, Thanksgiving on November 27, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Because I am a sap and it is traditional to do so, I have decided to make a non-inclusive list of things I am thankful for (in no particular order). Milla Boyfriend Animals Mom Dad Sister Brother Other relatives (I guess the previous could have been gathered in the catchall family.) My nice housemate and [...]
Isn’t She Lovely?
Posted in Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged Children, Family, life, Love, Personal on November 17, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I have the most beautiful child in the world, and she is a genuinely sweet person. I love her so very much.
I’m a Giant Dork
Posted in Funny, Gardening, life, Loneliness, Love, Personal, Pointless Rambling, Politics, Random Thoughts, Relationships, Society, Writing, tagged Children, Family, Funny, Humor, Love, men, Personal, Politics, Relationships, Society, Women, Writing on October 25, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Or so I have been informed by my boyfriend. I can’t really disagree. He’s right. I am a dork. We were chatting about a friend working in the garden. I said He’s probably hoeing, digging up potatoes. Boyfriend said He’s off being a pimp? I said Huh? Then got it and laughed and laughed. In [...]
Silly Me
Posted in life, Love, Personal, tagged life, Love, Personal on October 23, 2008 | 2 Comments »
I’m all in silly love. I love my boyfriend so much, I wanted to say so. This is my metaphorical shouting from the rooftops. He is magnificent. I know this is silly, but it feels good so here it is. Nine months ago he was brave enough to start talking to me. For this I [...]
Periodically Disappear
Posted in life, Love, Personal on September 27, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
The problem with wanting to be open about who you are and put your name on what you write is that if there are things you want to say that you don’t want certain other people to know about, you can’t write them on your blog, even if they are things you would really love [...]
Pitiful
Posted in Children, Family, Health, life, Love, Personal, Ranting, Society, tagged babies, Breastfeeding, Children, China, economy, Family, life, money, Personal, Society, USA on September 23, 2008 | 4 Comments »
It just makes me sick, those poor babies made ill by milk powder in China. It reminds me of Nestle going into third world countries, telling the women to stop breastfeeding and to “use formula like western women,” all the while ignoring the fact that the water is unsafe to drink. The result is a [...]
Smitten
Posted in life, Love, Personal, Writing, tagged language, life, Love, men, Personal, Relationships, Women, Words, Writing on September 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I’m completely smitten. Okay, here’s an aside. How is it that a person who reads as many books as I do, who loves words and word origins, who loves language actually, can have gone through life and not known that smitten is a past participle of smite? How is this? I am completely pitiful. I [...]
Missing is So Unkind
Posted in life, Love, Personal, Random Thoughts, Relationships, tagged Biology, Humanity, life, Love, men, Personal, Relationships, Women on September 20, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
What possible biological basis can there have been for us to evolve a mechanism that allows us to feel like a limb has been removed when we miss another human being? Is it truly only the mating sequence? Why couldn’t our biology be content to know another mate will someday take the place of the [...]
Miss Molly
Posted in Animals, Family, Friends, grief, life, Love, Personal, tagged Animals, death, dogs, Family, Friends, grief, life, Love, Nature, Personal, pets on September 17, 2008 | 6 Comments »
In December 1996, I decided that I wanted another dog. I had lived with my sweet dog, Autumn, for four and a half years. We had moved back to Oregon from the east coast, and I had finished college and begun working full time. I decided Autumn needed someone to hang out with during the [...]
Today is Autumn’s Birthday
Posted in Animals, Children, Family, life, Love, Personal, tagged Animals, Children, dogs, Elvis, Family, Friends, life, Love, Personal, Women on August 16, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Doesn’t that sound like the first line of a poem? Speaking metaphorically of course. I am not, however, speaking metaphorically. August 16 is the day my Autumn was born, in 1993. She died July 19, 2005. I chose her the day she was born and she died in my arms. She lived her life with [...]
Spinning Time
Posted in Humor, life, Love, Personal, Random Thoughts, Relationships, Writing, tagged life, Love, Passing Time, Personal, Plans, Random Thoughts, thinking, time on August 16, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
My blog has turned into two things. One is me going on and on about how pathetic I am. The other is my ranting about the godforsaken political situation in this country. It’s as if my sense of humor has taken a monster shit and been flushed down the loo. It does not exist anymore, [...]
Blah Blah Blah
Posted in life, Love, Personal, Random Thoughts, tagged Insomnia, life, Love, Personal on August 12, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
So I don’t write a couple of days and they change everything again. Well, at least they moved things around somewhat. It’s not as drastic a change as before. I know a lot of people did not like the other changes, but I did, so I think I can get used to a little column [...]
Melancholy
Posted in life, Love, Personal, Relationships, Writing on July 20, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Well, by accident I just discovered full screen mode for typing this blog. Wow. Seriously. Here I am all somber wanting to write and try to expel some angst and I accidentally hit a button and get this. This is cool. It is a nice little distraction. What is the source of my angst? I [...]
Book One, Book Two
Posted in Books, Children, life, Love, Personal, Random Thoughts on June 29, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Have you ever read a book where there are parts, often called books: book one, book two, book three, etcetera? Book one has all its stories, book two has other stories, often connected to the first book, but book two is a very different story, often a book of its own. Perhaps there are further [...]
I Have a Burr in My Ass
Posted in computers, Friends, life, Love, Personal, Ranting, Relationships, Writing on June 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I think anyone who reads this will wish I kept not having an internet connection for a few more days. I’m in one of those moods where I’m not mad at anything specifically, just generally irritated. I want to slap something. Too bad Boyfriend isn’t here. I would tell him some of the things I [...]
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Lara Gardner's Weblog by Lara Gardner is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. This means if you use anything from this page, you must properly attribute the work to Lara Gardner and provide a link back to its original location. Archives
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